THE JOKES!!
Q: How do you break an Aubun guy's finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: Did you hear about the Auburn athlete that won a Gold Medal at the Olympic game?
A: He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed!
Q: How do you complement an Aubun fan?
A: Nice tooth.
Q: What do you call a line of John Deere tractors going down the road?
A: The Auburn Homecoming Parade.
Q: Did you hear that they outlawed "the wave" at Jordan-Hare Stadium?
A: Two poor Auburn fans drowned at a game last year.
Q: Why don't Auburn grads use 911 in an emergency?
A: Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.
Q: How many Auburn students does it take to eat an armadillo?
A: Three. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.
Q: Why don't Auburn fans eat barbecue beans?
A: Because they keep falling through the holes in the grill.
Q: What's the difference between Terry Bowden and a brand new puppy?
A: Eventually the puppy will quit whining.
Q: Do you know what hangs 18 inches between his legs and is 6 inches off the ground?
A: Terry Bowden's tie.
Q: Do you know the directions to Auburn?
A: South to you smell it. East till you step in it.
Q: Why doesn't Terry Bowden wear cowboy boots?
A: They chap his rear end.
Q. How is the Auburn football team like a possum?
A. They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What does an Auburn grad say to a Bama grad?
A: You want fries with that?
Q: How do you get the Auburn grad off your front porch.
A: Pay him for the pizza and tip him well.
Q: What's the smallest book in the world?
A: The Auburn book of football heros.
Q: What is the differce between a Auburn Cheerleader and a heifer?
A: 20 pounds.
Q: How do you starve an Auburn Fan?
A: Hide the food stamps under the soap.
Q: What does an Auburn grad call an Alabama grad?
A: "Boss"
You're probably an Auburn fan if...
- You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
- Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed.
- You consider a 6-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
- You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
- Your family tree doesn't fork.
- Fewer than half of your cars run.
- Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sporting - Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
- You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
- The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!" "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin?"
- You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
- Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
- Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
- Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
- You drive across town to see a car wreck.
- You've ever barbecued spam on the grill.
- Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
- You feed your dogs so poorly that they commit suicide.
- Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
- You have 5 cars that are immobile and house that is!
There was this Alabama guy, Penn St. guy, and Awbun guy hitchiking on the road. They get a ride with a guy with a pickup truck, and hop in the back. They travel down the road and are goin' around a corner when the driver loses control and goes over a cliff into a big body of water. The truck sinks to the bottom and the driver manages to escape. About 20 seconds later, the Alabma guy comes outta the water...about 20 more seconds, the Penn St. guy comes outta the water...about 1 minutes passes and by then the police have arrived (quick police). The police ask if there was anyone else in the truck, and they told the policeman that an Awbun guy was still down there. So the Alabama guy goes back in the water to see why the Awbun guy hadn't come up yet...he comes back a little later and tells the cop, "Oh, that Awbun guy is just down there still trying to get the tailgate down!"
